Honouring a Life: How I Create a Unique Eulogy
When someone dies, the stories they leave behind matter more than ever. As a funeral celebrant, I have the privilege of listening to those stories and shaping them into a eulogy that honours a life lived — its loves, its laughter, its quirks and its legacy.
But how exactly does a eulogy come to life? Today, I’d love to share a little of my process and why I believe every eulogy should be as unique as the person it celebrates.
Step 1: Listening with Heart
Everything begins with a conversation. Whether it’s in person or over the phone, I spend time with the family (or close friends) to hear about their loved one. We talk about who they were — not just the milestones, but the memories that really brought them to life.
I ask questions like:
What made them smile?
What did they love to do?
How did they show love?
What were their favourite sayings or habits?
There’s often laughter, sometimes tears — but always stories. And it’s in those small, personal details that a person’s essence shines through.
Step 2: Gathering Threads
After our chat, I take time to reflect on everything that’s been shared. I look for recurring themes — perhaps a life of quiet kindness, boundless humour, or deep devotion to family.
Sometimes I’m given old letters, photos, or a few scribbled anecdotes. These threads help me build a picture, not just of what someone did, but of who they truly were. If others wish to contribute memories or reflections, I welcome that too.
Step 3: Finding the Voice
A good eulogy doesn’t just recount facts — it speaks to those who hear it. I always aim to capture the tone and voice that fits the person being remembered.
If they were a joker, there’ll be space for laughter.
If they were reflective, the tone will be gentler and more contemplative.
If they were larger-than-life, their energy will echo through the words.
Whether we include quotes, poems, song lyrics, or something entirely unique, my goal is always to reflect the real person behind the name.
Step 4: Writing with Care
With the stories, memories and mood in mind, I begin writing the eulogy. I usually write a first draft within a couple of days and then check back in with the family. This is your tribute — so I always make sure it feels right to those closest.
If you want to add or change something, we do. If a particular phrase doesn’t sit well, we tweak it. It’s not finished until you feel it captures your loved one the way they deserve to be remembered.
Step 5: Delivering with Warmth
On the day of the funeral, it’s my honour to read the eulogy aloud as part of the ceremony. I do so with empathy, calm, and heartfelt intention — always aiming to hold the space with dignity and care.
It’s not just about words; it’s about presence. It’s about helping people feel connected to the life being honoured and offering comfort through story.
After the Service
Once the ceremony is over, I always provide a printed copy of the full service — including the eulogy — so families have something tangible to keep. Many people tell me they return to it in quiet moments, finding peace in the words long after the service has ended.
Why It Matters
No two lives are the same. So why should any two eulogies be?
Creating a personalised eulogy is about bearing witness. It’s about seeing someone — really seeing them — and making sure their story is told with love and care.
If you're planning a funeral and want to make sure your loved one is honoured in a way that truly reflects their life, I’d be glad to help.